Eats and Treats!

Yay, second post of the day! If you're reading this... there's another post right below this for Petra. After writing that boring post about Petra, I thought everyone might enjoy hearing about what I've been eating... so here's my some thoughts about food.

To start with I have my basic rotation of 3 staples - rotisserie chicken, shawarma, and hummus/felafal. As a budget and, more importantly, single traveler... I spend most of my meals in the diner-esque/casual restaurants... which in the Middle East usually means felafel/shawarma, which generally runs for about a buck in Egypt or 2-3 in Jordan. FYI, the hummus in invariably excellent... especially since it comes with healthy amount of olive oil. The shawarma in Egypt... not so great... but in Jordan its been fantastic. Different spices. Also, they serve it with a soft crepe-like bread in Jordan that is perfect. Oh, and this felafal sandwich in the picture has a runny hardboiled egg in it. In the words of Homer Simpson, "Mmmmmm.... egg... felafel... mmm".







Breakfast is pretty standard but light and easy... pita, jam, butter, and egg. This breakfast here was a deluxe breakfast with the usual suspects in addition to cheeses, salad and fuul... which is a kidney bean type of dish... sorta like chili but not as heavy and no meat involved. Breakfast, as with other meals and afternoon breaks, is accompanied with tea... usually taken with healthy amounts of sugar. I take milk with mine, but apparently that just makes me look like a gringo.





Other typical dishes, outside of the budget range are Kofta (kebab made of ground lamb) and other grilled meats. Here is Shish Tawouk... basically chicken grilled with spices, which I dont think is anything special... For 1/2 the price you can get a plate of shawarma which is twice as good!











Another budget option in Egypt was Koshari... which is basically lentils, chickpeas, different types of past, and rice... all mixed together with tomato sauce on top served for $1 and add meat for an extra $0.50. Its tasty, but it reminds of something college guys would make. Basically empty out all the carbs you can find in the pantry and add "sauce".











The most unique main course that I've had is mensaf... a bedouin speciality. Its a lamb dish cooked in a yogurt based sauce. I'm not sure how you cook yogurt without it curdling... so if someone knows, please explain. Here is a pix I got from internet, cuz I didn't have my camera on this outing.



Breakfast options outside of the typical b-fast... are basically bakery items. I noticed the items at the bakery are either incredibly and overwhelmingly sweet OR kinda like Chinese desserts... lightly sweetened and mixed with nuts or some sort of bean paste.



Dessert items are like the bakery goods... but more on the overwhelmingly sweet side. My absolute favorite, which I only found at one place in Egypt is Sahlab. In Israel its more of a drink... but in Egypt its more pasty/congealed/gelatinous... sounds gross, but oh soooo good. I'm sure that you when you eat it... it just goes straight to your heart and starts to clog all the major arteries in your body. ummmm fat and sugar... what a combo! Its got coconut and some other good stuff in there. Another one I tried, but already forgot the name, is here... it was sorta like baklava...



Finally, desperate times call for desperate measures. When I get sick of eating the usual 3 and get tired of eating at sit down restaurants by myself... its hamburger time. Local burgers usually are marinated, with unknown spices. Also, FYI, local McD's are actually better than at home. Still horse-meat-esque, but larger portions of mystery goodness.




All that sounds pretty heavy, but needless to say, I'm losing weight on the trip from all the walking and hiking... and there go many meals where odwalla bars are my main sustenance.

Sitting Above Petra

The first thing you realize when you come to Petra is the sheer quantity and quality of the building, tombs, ruins, etc. Like many of the sites in Luxor, when I arrived in Petra I was surprised to find that the site was more than just the main highlights that are shown on all the postcards. When you visit monuments in Europe (like the Coloseum) you undoubtedly walk away with the "that's it?" or the "I thought it would be bigger" feeling. Petra on the other hand seems to go on forever, and I could have easily spent 3-4 days exploring the different trails and viewpoints. More importantly, I find the category of "ruins" to a bit of misnomer. When I first saw Petra (or the Valley of the Kings, Luxor Temple, Karnak Temple... etc), I was amazed at the quality of the condition of the "ruins". The details are all still there and it doesn't take much imagination to see why this was voted one of the new 7 wonders. I think that when most people visit palatine hill or the old city in Rome, they sit there with the pop-up book, looking back and forth between the ruins and the book, thinking "wow this is what it looked like thousands of years ago". Whereas with Petra you just walk through and you can see exactly what it looked like thousands of years ago. I think the best way to describe it is, "wow!". These pictures here show some of the detail of the buildings and the amazing color of the surrounding rock formations.

Just a quick replay of my two days at Petra. Started off walking through the Siq. From the pictures, I thought it was just a short walkway, but it was actually over 1 km long. The Siq sorta like a gorge that is paved at the bottom where the river bed dried out. I overheard some guides (I was too cheap to pay for my own) saying that the Siq was created by a river, but I read that it was actually created by tectonic plate movement. When you reach the end of the Siq, you pass through a narrow section that leads to the Treasury. The Lonely Planet described it as a fascinating walkway that helps to build the anticipation of your first viewing of the Treasury. While, I think that is a bit melodramatic, I would have to agree with the overall feeling.

After I visited the Treasury, I climbed up to visit many of the tombs and the various Roman ruins. It seems like there is a Roman Theatre in every city in Jordan! I only spent a half day during my first day at Petra, because the heat was just overwhelming. Turned out to be a good and bad idea... the next day was much cooler, BUT I ended up spending 9 hours walking up and down hills to see what the main sites that I wanted to check out. Below is a picture of the main tombs.

During the second day, I walked through the entire site and went straight to the monastery, which is a 30-45 min walk uphill (after trekking the entire length of Petra). The monastery has many of the same visual and architectual features as the Treasury, but the great part about it is the uphill trek scares away most of the visitors, so its not as crowded.

After the monastery, I spent the rest of the morning visiting more of the tombs and random ruins and just taking pictures of the scenery. At the end of the day, I decided to make a second climb up to see the Treasury again... this time from above. After climbing up stairs for 25 min, I managed to get lost for a half hour. That's the great part about traveling in the Middle East - there are many interesting viewpoints, trails, and sites that are off the main paths... that kinda give you that feeling of exploration. The only problem is that these "off the beaten path" trails are not very well marked. After getting lost and resting for a while, I finally followed the trail of litter and footsteps to the main lookout point over Petra (which is the picture at the very top of this post). Just call me Macgyver for my ingenuity... or maybe Hansel and Grettel? The view from up top was awesome and it was especially relaxing to just be by myself staring down at all the tourists. I ended up propping myself up on the rock with the best viewpoint and taking a nap (surprising how comfy rocks are!) until a pair of german tourists woke up me to steal my viewing spot.

The best part was on the way down. I found what I thought was a new path way and I was proud of myself for uncovering this new trail... but when I got to the bottom, I realized that it was the same trail that I took up. Yes... I am directionally challenged. The funny part was that I ran into a group of tourists at the bottom that couldn't figure out how to get up... and they asked me for directions!?! I told them to simply walk up the stairs until there were no more paved steps... then look for the trail of litter.

By the end of the day, I remembered how hard it is to hike/walk for 9 hours. My legs were sore for 3 days... maybe I'm just outta shape. Also, sorry the pictures are not so great, I was battling the sunlight and tried to use a photo editor to color correct them... I think I went a lover overboard.

Well... sorry this post wasn't so interesting!

At home with my Bedouin Peeps (Wadi Rum, Jordan)

Well... with the title of this blog being what it is, its only appropriate that I spend at least one night out in the desert with the bedouins (or Jordanians posing as bedouins). I spent the first night of my Jordan trip out in the Wadi Rum desert with a bedouin guide in a bedouin tent. The wadi rum desert is famous because of its Lawrence of Arabia connection. The desert itself is beautiful, especially under the early morning or late afternoon lighting. As the sun sets or rises... the deep red color of the sand and the rock formations really comes out. Its truly one of a kind scenery. Here is a quick recap of my day in the desert.

9am: Arrive in Aqaba, Jordan... via boat from Egypt. Like all boat-people, I got stuck at the border for an hour with visa issues, but finally got through. Some slick cab driver actually got my visa processed for me, hoping that I would dish out $45 to have him drive me to the desert. I still dont know how he got it done... I was waiting at the docks for 30 min while the border patrol wasn't doing squat, then he drove me to some random building, took my passport in while I waited, then came out with a stamped visa. Of course the visa is in Arabic... for all I know it could say, "Arrest this retard when he tries to leave the country"


10:30am: Get to the bus station and find out that the next bus leaves at 12:30. Another cabbie offers me a ride for $30 this time. I leave in search of food while i think about it. The felafel guy tries to sell me a felafel sandwich for $35. I tell him to @%&$ himself and go the chicken place next door. For $3, I get a half rotisserie chicken with a huge pita... granted it was served sans silverware and on a nasty looking plate... but it was ooohhhhh so tasty.


11am: Get back to the bus station to find out that the bus is now leaving at 1pm... if full. I wait around for another half hour. The cabbie that offered me the $30 ride... gets desparate and offers a $20 ride. I bite, cuz the other options are looking bleek. Good thing too, cuz I later found out that the bus actually drops off 5 miles from the desert town... and you have to hitch a ride from the station.


1pm: I'm at Rum Village... looking at options for my night. I decide to forgo any hiking to sample the 4 hour camel ride out to the tent/camp.


1pm-4pm: Turns out the camel ride was only 3 hours, which was good... cuz riding a camel SUCKS. Its like having a fat, hairy dude with mucus dripping his mouth wedged between your legs. Ya, its funny for 5 min, then its just painful. Not to mention that camels are the most unruly beasts ever. Our ride started when all the camels ran off. My guide chased after two, while I chased after the other two. We rode out with 4 camels... one for me, one for him, and two others that we literally had to drag the entire way. All 4 stopped to eat whenever they wanted, even if my guide smacked the crap out of them. They pooped when they felt like it... and most importantly they just stopped completely during the middle of the ride.


4pm-6pm: Hung out in the desert, made new friends... very interesting peeps... and watched the sun go down.


6pm-8pm: Dinner around the fire and dancing with our bedouin hosts. Somehow I was only 1 of the few that were coerced into dancing around the fire... in what could only be described as the bedouin version of the chicken dance.


8pm: Fall asleep under the stars... before going back to my tent . It was one of those nights where the stars light up the entire sky. In my life... I think there are 3-4 nights that I can totally recall the sky and the stars and this is definitely one of them. Unbelievable...


Next morning 6am: Watch the sun come up. Everything turns a beautiful deep red under the mornng light. Not just red, but a million (literally...i counted all of them) shades of red. It was kinda cool to come from the red sea where I was staring at water that was a million shades of blue/green to the desert that is such a crazy deep red. I definitely can't imagine a better week for any nature lover or photography enthusiast.


Next stop... Petra. I would have liked to stayed longer for some hikes and more exploration, but the desert guides and the Wadi Rum park charge a ton of money for any guides, jeeps, or camels... so it was a bit out of my budget. BUT for anyone that makes it out to Jordan to see Petra... I highly suggest 1-2 nights in the desert. Its definitely worth it.

Diving Madness... Danger is my middle name

(***quick note... if you want to read the exciting "dangerous" experience... then skip to the Day 5 - Ras Mohammed section of this post)

I'm leaving for Jordan tomorrow, and I'm sad to leave Egypt. It is definitely one of those places that I know I will come back to one day. Learning to dive here is quite truly amazing. Its kinda like learning to drive along Pacific Coast Highway along Big Sur. It sounds great, but there are 2 downsides - (1) its pretty hard to top your first experience and (2) its actually really to concentrate on learning, becuase there is so much going on around you that you are constantly distracted. Well... here's a little recap of my experience.

Day 1 - Diving lesson: "Confined Water Dive" and Open Water dive.
So... I quickly learned that the great thing about Egypt is that they don't really give a rat's ass about safety. I got there on my first day and joined a father/son combo that were on day 2. My instructor quickly went over some basic instructions and the first thing we did was jump in the water. The dive shop that I went to did not have a pool, so we did our "confined water dive" in the shallow part of the beach. The dive shop was connected to the Sofitel Hotel in Sharm which is perfect, becuase they had a private beach with magnificent 50 foot reefs right off the beach. As you can see from the dive pix on my last post... the water was amazing. We practiced safety techniques and basic skills while huge schools (hundreds not dozens) of fish swam by. I'm happy that I learned here in Egypt, because (as i said earlier) they take moderate safety precautions, but dont really care too much. They went really quickly through the lessons and it was pretty much sink or swim.

After our first lesson it was already time for our first open water dive. This is what's truly awesome about doing stuff out of the US. If I was in Hawaii, I probably would have spent the first day watching safety videos and the second day in a pool. Here... after the first 2 hours I was already 30 feet below water face to face with a giant Morey Eel. That sucker was huge!!!

Day 2, 3, 4 (more boring fish and reef descriptions)
Basically same stuff as Day 1. While the other two people in my class are going through their exercises, I spend most of my time staring at the coral and the fish trying to figure out how to describe them in words. There was one fish in particular, that I could not find on any of the charts, which had a blue and orange stripe across its eyes like a zoro mask and blue stripes on the back half of its body and the rest of was a pale color. Down in the water the lighting changes, so the bright colors really pop... making this fish look neon, kinda like a cheezy 80's Will Smith Video or a Hypercolor t-shirt. The coral is amazing colors down there too. Aside from the normal purple and blue coral you'd expect, I saw tons of neon colored lime green coral everywhere.

Of course the entire experience of being underwater is amazing. The craziest part is that you can control your position underwater by your breathing. Take a deep breath and you start to ascend... blow out the air and you start to descend. Crazy huh?

Day 5 - Guided Dive in Ras Mohammed ~ Just call me Jeff "Danger" Hui

After finishing my course, I had to put my skills to use right away. I joined a guided dive in Ras Mohammed, the national park and protected area in the Red Sea. Its considered to be arguably the top site to dive in the world. There were no other beginners, so they threw me in with a more advanced group, which I was happy with at first, but definitely caused me some problems later. Let's just say that one of the guys in my group is a dive instructor in Europe... so these dudes were a little out of my league.

As soon as we jumped in the water the first thing that we did was swim through a freaking underwater cave. I was a bit nervous to be honest... I mean its the first 5 minutes of my initial dive and I have to go through an underwater cave. I was so "new" that I didn't even know how to jump off the boat with all of my gear on and had to ask someone in my group how to jump into the water. I could see the people in my group kinda moan as the anticipated me screwing up their experience. The first dive went smoothly after the getting in the water and passing through the cave. We saw a huge trigger fish tearing up som jelly fish, passed by a spotted blue manta ray, and I even redeemed myself to my group members by spotting a crocodile fish hidden in the sand. (this is a stock photo from the internet)

Then, the second dive started... and that is where the trouble started for me. To start with, I noticed that my tank was slightly below the 200 bar, while it was usually filled to 210-220 range. I told my guide, but he didn't seem to care, so I didn't either. We started the dive by plunging straight down to 21.5 meters (even though my "limit" for my level is supposed to be 18 meters). It took me a long time, cuz I wasn't used to dropping so fast. My group had to wait while I equalized and adjusted to being 70 feet deep (70 feets seems so much more dangerous than 21.5 meters). Then we swam around a huge reef, where we saw more eels, rays, baracuda, and a lionfish. (also a stock photo)

Then we swam by the Yolanda... a sunken ship that was carrying toilet bowl. Coral was growing all over the broken bit of porcelain, and fish were swimming in and out of crazen toilets... pretty interesting sight. Then... the fun began. We hit a current that was pushing us pretty hard. I was swimming as fast as I could to keep up with the group. I still hadn't really mastered using my cheap rent-a-fins and so I was using my arms and flailing around like a 5 year old in a "mommy and me" swim class. If I could have made noise, I'm sure I would have been grunting like Maria Sharapova and screaming like a school girl. When we finally got out of the current, I started to float up at an alarming rate. I struggled to push out all of the air of my flotation device but I couldn't seem to get any air out. As my group watched me float away, I had not choice but to swim down to them. If I floated to the top I could have had some serious issues that come with ascending too fast. Luckily I'm a strong swimmer, cuz I started to ascend, the air in my flotation device expanded and I was basically trying to dive down with a damn life saver on tied to my body. By the time I got to the bottom, my guide had to hold me down while I pushed out all of the air of my flotation device. I checked the air in my tank which was already down to the 50 bar... meaning I should be getting ready to ascend. I gave my guide the signal that I was running low on air... but he didn't seem to really care too much. Our underwater conversation was like this:

Me: Tap tap tap... pointing to my guage... and giving a fist signal (meaning I was down to 50)

Guide: Blank stare and Ok signal

Me: Vigorously head shaking and again the fist

Guide: Ok signal, with a look in his eyes that read "okay, stop being such a damn baby"

My guide then inflated the emergency floater, indicating that some idiot in his group was having a crisis. We ascended to the 5 meter mark where we were supposed to readjust to the oxygen level. Meanwhile, my guide is holding my hand so I don't float away. I'm floating next to him, arm in arm, trying not to look like the total pansy. We notice that I'm now down to the 20 bar... but we need to stay at the 5 meter mark for a few more minutes before we surface... so we go through the emergency procedure that I learned on day 1. He hands me his secondary regulator (breathing hose) and we go hand in hand to the top. When we get to the top, we swim hand in hand to the boat... and when I get out I meekly thank him for saving my life and scurry to the top of the boat where the rest of the group will hopefully not find me. Unfortunately, they specifically looked for me to confirm that I had, in fact, "ran out of gas". Embarassed and humbled, I called it a day and watched my group go on the optional third dive, while I shot the shit with another diver that was also too tired to do the 3rd dive. Of course, he was 70 years old and retired... so that wasn't a real big boost to my confidence. The good news is that I have no shame, so I basically forgot about the incident by the time the entire group was back on the boat. Even though I ended my dive holding hands with another grown man, I'm still looking forward to my next dive... perhaps in Turkey!

Day 6, 7, 8 - Dahab... relaxation

Up the coast (about 60-90 min) from Sharm is a town called Dahab. Definitely more of my vibe here. Low key, backpacker kinda down... gone are the casinos, bard, and neon lights of sharm replaced with bedouin tents, tea, and a more local crowd. I also caught a cold (god I'm such a little girl) from diving ... and getting in and out of the water. I've spent the past 3 days sitting here just reading on the beach. I found a little hotel at the very end of the beach where very few people walk by... and so I basically slept, napped, and ate by the beach with minimul disturbance. I had my lunch brought to my lounge chair, where I balanced my plate on my stomach and ate while lying down... damn, I'm a slob. At night the full moon completely lights up the sky, and I can see all the way to Saudia Arab with the light of the moon. Here are some pix of Dahab...

Diving Madness

I'm in Sharm el Sheik, Egypt right now which is absolutely amazing. If anyone cares to see...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhui_02/sets/72157604153504691/

I'll write more later! But just wanted to post those pix for all who care.

Macho Men & Sassy Girls

Just finished up my first week in Egypt. The end of the tour was not so bad. BUT... I still wish that I could see more. I am definitely coming back. The highlight of the tour so far was Luxor and the Egyptian museum in Cairo. I wasn't able to take any pictures in the museum, which is a shame, because the artifacts are amazing. Its unbelievable how well preserved everything is. The most interesting artifacts were, of course, the mummies. One mummy had a full head of red hair... looked like a dye job gone bad. The hair was still there... but it just looked dry and dehydrated (damn... i'm glad i'm out of the spa industry). Luxor was amazing too... Everyone hypes Abu Simbel and stuff, but I think Luxor was the highlight. One could easily spend a week here, especially if you are a photographer.

Well... I'm guessing no one really cares about the touristy stuff... so I thought I might throw in a tidbit about Egyptian Culture

Macho Men - Egyptian men are a lot like Italian men... they talk a lot with their hands. Except, the Egyptians always seem to be hostile. Its weird... I see a fight every day over the stupidest things. The tour guides are the worst! They actually run around trying to cut off other tour groups! Its kinda weird... I thought my guide was a pain in the ass, but then I realized that is just the norm here. Our tour got into 3 fights at the museum with other tour groups... in just 2 hours! One french speaking tour guide even told one of our tour members to fuck off... it was hilarious... pushing, shoving, the works.

The best part about guys here is that they are totally pervvy. My Egytpian guide will in the middle of giving me a tour, and a hot Euro chick will walk by and then he starts to stare and totally loses his concentration. Its like this,

Guide: And here we have a statue of Ramses II. Ramses II was one of the most famous leaders in Egypt. He was responsible for ...

(blond girl wearing shorts walks by)

"He was responsible for... for... uhhh..."

(long pause.... extended rubber necking....long pause...)

"And here we have a statues of Ramses II."

Me: You said that already

Guide: I did?

Here is another great conversation I had with my guide:

Guide: Where you going after Cairo?

Me: Sharm el Sheik (scuba area)

Guide: Ahh... yes, many beautiful women In Sharmel Sheik. They like to make love. Make a lot of sex.

Me: Im just going scuba diving

Guide: Especially the Australians. Australians like making sex the most.

Me: I'm just diving

Guide: Wear a club okay? Protection!!!!

Me: For Diving?

Guide: NO... for AIDS!

(silence...)

Me: Okay. Whatever you say.

Language Skills - Egyptian tour guides have the craziest languauge skills. I heard tours being conducted in English, French, German, Russian, Japanese, and Mandarin. One shop owner was trying to sell me something... her english was not great, so she asked me if I spoke German, French, or some third language I forget. I've decided that Egyptians are linguistic geniuses. Nothing crazier that hearing Mandarin with a thick Arabic accent.

Favorite Pasttime - Egyptian men all enjoy guessing your nationality as you walk bye. Walk down any street in Cairo and all you here is,"Chinese? Japanese? Ni Hao? Philipino? Konichiwa? Buy my postcard... two dollars. liang kuai (YES, I heard them say it in Chinese!).

Mystery Solved - For years, I wondered how muslim women with a full burka eat! I finally spotted one woman at a restaurant and I peeked and saw her! I guess she just takes off the veil (simple huh?). She caught me peeking though, and put it back on... and her husband gave me the death stare. I ate quickly... and left.... but the mystery is solved.

Balancing Act - I dont know how they do it... but Egyptian women always carry stuff on their head. I saw one women carrying a full jug of water... which was at least 2-3 gallons in volume. I did snap this one photo of this women carrying a basket of stuff on her head. If anyone knows how they do this, please explain how this is physically possible!

Sassy Girl - In general... Egyptian people are lively and outgoing. Makes it difficult to be a tourist at times, because the store owners will literally drag you into their store. Walking through a bazaar is a lot like walking through a gauntlet. Luckily, as a single travelor, they leave me alone. I can see the frustration on the eyes of the Euro tourists though... seems like they can't even walk down the street without being hassled. Sometimes, the people are interesting and not just hyper aggressive store owners. For example, the cutest kid came up to me while I was sitting on a sidewalk and insisted that I photograph her. We went through 5-6 different poses before she found one she liked - smile, no smile, turn, no turn, wave, no wave... "sassy, no wave" was the one that we both decided was the best. Cute kid... So... although Egyptian culture can be a bit overwhelming at times, their outgoing nature definitely makes life interesting.

Postcards Anyone?

Send me or post your addy, and I'll send you a postcard from somewhere!!!

Kim Jong Il

I'm in egypt now... and its already been a long week. I did something that I promised I would never do! I joined a tour. Not just any tour... a Chinese Tour from Hong Kong. My mom and I signed up for a tour to visit Egypt. The ironic part is... she hurt her knee and had to cancel and I went by myself. So I went all the way to Hong Kong to join a Chinese tour to Egypt that is conducted in Cantonese... which I speak about 50 words. Needless to say... its been an interesting experience. The best part is that the tour runs in complete efficiency... no wasted time and no free time allowed! Here is what my first three days looked like:

Day 1:
Red Eye to Egypt, arrive 6am.
Get on Bus at 6:30
Drive for 4 hours.
Alexandria, take pictures, get back on bus.
Drive for 4 hours
Back to Cairo... and to sleep

Day 2:
Start at 5:30
Tourist fun till 10pm
Flight to Aswan arrive 12:30am
Bus to Hotel & Get into Bed at 1am

Day 3
Wake-up call 3:15am (yes, that means we got 2hours of sleep)
4 hour bus ride to Abu Simbel
take some pictures
4 hour bus ride back to Aswan
Lunch at 3pm
Dinner at 6pm

Well... the other days were slightly better. We've got to sleep in till 5 or 6 am everyday. I asked my tour guide why we pack so much stuff in. There were 1-2 sights that we literally drove by and just took pictures from the window.... the driver didn't even slow down. My guide wasn't really understanding my logic. Our conversation was as follows:

Me: Why do we see so many things in one day. We don't really get a chance to appreciate anything
Guide: What would we do if we didn't see so many things?
Me: I dont' know... enjoy the sites, take pictures... maybe even have fun?
Guide: We see all the sites and everyone has time to take pictures. In the end they are all the same. We see all the same places as the European groups but in half the time. Its better this way. There no point to spend so much time at each site. Just see the entrance and take some pictures and go. What else is there to do?
Me: Uh... stop and enjoy the sites? relax?
Guide: I dont' understand...
(uncomfortable silence...)
Me: Okay... I guess you are right?

Its actually kinda funny. Its like... we drive all day and everyone sleeps in the bus. The guide doesn't care and talks for the entire time on the mic... even though everyone is sleeping and no one is listening. She's completely on autopilot... she doesn't even face the group. She faces the front window and keeps talking and talking... she even laughs at her own jokes. She must know that everyone is sleeping, cuz she never turns around. Its so Ferris Bueller... "Here is the Pyramids made by____ Anyone? Anyone?" Then we get to the designated attraction and we have like 45 minutes to fight the crowds and take pictures. The specific on-site tour is extra hilarious. I have an egyption guide that tells me everything in English. While at Kom Ombo, he took me from one room to the next and we saw the entire sight in 30 minutes. At each room he said (no joke... he really said this in each room we passed through):

"this is fill in blank, made by fill in blank, okay? you remember? take picture. i wait you in next room. hurry hurry hurry. not too many pictures. we must see all in 30 minutes. Hurry!"

The best part is that I realized that we are just like a prison.

• we travel around the desert in a police convoy... no stops allowed.


• we eat the same food every day from from a buffet line (although its not served with ice cream scoopers)


• we wear uniforms to remind us that we are not individuals


• if we fall out of line, we are reminded that no prisoner is allowed to arrive late or go off on our own


• the tour guide take a head count at every stop to make sure no one gets loose


• both use torture to break your spirit - our torture is sleep depravation.


• the locals do stupid human tricks for us to pass the time... like flip their cigarettes inside their mouths.

Its not all bad though. Needless to say... every site has been amazing. I really want to come back one day and see them for myself without my tour guide pulling on my arm after each picture. The only down side is that the air quality is so bad that you can barely see the pyramids in my pictures.

The best part of my trip.... the characters. I have one couple that is runs in front of the group. The wife runs from one pillar/statue to the next, posing (left side forward, head tilted at 45 degree angle, slightly toothy smile) while the husband runs behind her taking pictures and instructing her. I can't understand what he is saying, but I imagine its something like

"Common... give me sexy. Give me Cleopatra. Give me Sphinx. talk to meeee... make love to the camera. Youre a lion, youre a man, youre a sphinx. Grrr"

The craziest character is this one dude that looks exactly... EXACTLY... like Kim Jong Il. I can't take my eyes off of him. Sometimes, I say, "Kim" under my breath and look to see if he turns around. I'm pretty sure its him. This pix of him is not that great... but its a little taste!

2 more days of tourist fun... and then its all over!!!